I MADE A SNOWMAN ~~~~ Submitted by Larry Staker

 8:00 am -  I made a snowman.

 

8:10 am - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

 

8:15 am – So, I made a snow woman.

 

8:17 am – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest, saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

 

8:20 am – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissie fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen, instead.

 

8:22 am – The transgender man...woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

 

8:25 am – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

 

8:28 am – I was being called a racist because the snow couple was white.

 

8:30 am – I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and to be more racially inclusive.

 

8:37 am – I was accused of using a black face on the snowman...persons.

 

8:39 am – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded that the snow woman be covered up.

 

8:40 am – The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

 

8:42 am – The feminist neighbor complained, again, that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

 

8:43 am – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

 

8:45 am – TV news crews from ABC showed up.  I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women?  I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist!

 

9:00 am – I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during a difficult winter.

 

9:10 am – I was asked if I have any accomplices.  My children were taken by social services.

 

9:30 am – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street, demanding for me to be arrested.

 

9:45 am – The boss called and fired me because of all of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

 

10:00 am – I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman.

 

Moral:  There is no moral to this story.  It is what this world has become, because of a bunch of snowflakes.