Arizona, Texas,
Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana,
Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an
idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't
crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a
'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you
drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the
way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell
like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 &
I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and
go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're
impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a
year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves.
It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch
of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it
outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the
time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and
elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait
shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of
deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
November.
10. We open doors for women. That's
applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's
no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's
Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are
three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt,
pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati
call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it
better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house,
she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long
hair.
14. College and High School Football is as
important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks,
and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf
courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo!
That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than
we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at
least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're
friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is
all about!!!
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And there is
more.............
The COWBOY
Solution to
save
Gasoline.
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OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of
gasoline we use.....
The best way to stop using so much
gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!
That would be 15 million less people using
our gas. The price of gas would come
down.....
Bring our troops home from Afghanistan
to guard the borders....
When they catch an
illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo
and ship him to Afghanistan ....
Tell him if he wants
to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR
military....
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there
and tax him on it......
After his tour, he will be allowed to
become a citizen since he defended this country..... He will also be registered to be taxed and
be a legal resident.....
This option will probably deter illegal
immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the
aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. .......
If they refuse to serve, ship them to
Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or
ammo.
Problem solved.....
If you think this is a good solution to
both the problems, forward it to your friends...........
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